Little Weena v.5 - things will change

Its Sunday and only two weeks till May.
I am not all that proud to say that I've only accomplished a few sketches and only three colored illustrations for my portfolio.
I can't do my digital drawing since the computer where I do is still not functional. I heard they're going to upgrade everything, meaning a new computer. I hope thats true.

To my two friends who I promised to do illustrations. I'm sorry for the delay, I wanted to do both digitally, now I'll be doing them manually hoping to finish then by this week. I just wish I can do it! I have to be optimistic! I know I can do it! I have to.

Enough about my portfolio.

I have now surrendered to peer pressure and my boredom. I am now signing up for PLURK. As soon as I think of a good name for my URL I'll be up and active. Everything's ready, I just have to fill in the name for the URL and click the Sign up button. :D

I'm thinking of 'lhimei.' If I choose that my plurk will be consistent with my deviantart and multiply accounts. :D So yeah, I'm still thinking of other names too.

Everything is now back to normal, the one's who we're on vacation has returned. The recent was just two hours ago. Isn't that nice? Right.

I don't care about what kind of happiness that goes around our home right now. I'm still depressed. I've been like this since last night, and I've already made someone upset because of my nagging and pessimistic sermons. Whoever is reading this, it's your turn.

Almost a month has passed since I last had classes. My system has forgotten what it's like to work 24/7 sometimes even go through the whole day without sleep. I get more sleep now, and too much sleep makes me groggy the whole day and unable to move very much. The heat adds a very large amount to my frustration everyday.
I feel worthless.
I feel useless.
I feel everything that I do is wrong.

I know, I am PESSIMISTIC.
You can't change that part of me, I always look at thing negatively.
I say negative things, Yes I know I shouldn't make it a habit.
To late, it already is. Too bad that habits are hard to break. I've tried so many times to always think positive, be sure that I can do it. When I've finally got it right to think positive about something, then all of the sudden that something that I did fails me. Every bit of negative thought enters my head and I'm at it again.

That adds another point on my summer depression.

I hear the screening for thesis will be on the first week of May. That's only two and a half weeks away. I still haven't done anything useful for my portfolio. I'm still at a phase that I tear up my sketches right after I finish them because I see the flaws and then they'll look terrible in my eyes.
And the HEAT! My god, the heat is killing me. I can't think straight. The fan isn't helping me one bit. I don't have an air conditioning unit in my room.

If I can't draw during the day, might as well draw at night when its a bit cooler and its quiet too. No noisy tricycles, no screaming children and no motor sounds coming from the new garments warehouse beside us. :/

I'll end my rant post here.
I'll start sketching again after posting. Maybe a sketch or two would be nice before I go to bed.

I cleaned my room four hours ago.

Washed the curtains. Cleaned the windows, tables, shelves. Swept the floor then wiped it with a wet cloth. Now my room is clean.

Right now I'm feeling really tired right now, but I have the sudden feeling to post something on my blog. So here I am. :)

To update,
I can't get the song Untouched by the Veronicas out of my head. The beat is really catchy for me, I love it. Too bad I can't download the song, and their album too. The PC downstairs crashed. He finally gave up, he can't handle Photoshop anymore.
Just when I was getting rich in Gaia for doing art the computer shuts down. I just can't wait for them to replace the PC.
Back to the Veronica's, as wiki says they are an Australian pop-rock band. Composed of twin sisters (I really thought they're not twins at first. Although it was really obvious that they we're). Their first album came out in 2005, then the latest came out in 2007.
I like their voice, plus the beat on their songs that I've listened to are really catchy and the lyrics are good too.

Also go check out Taylor Swifts album Fearless. Its a good album to download. Thanks to Bolt for sharing the link long ago.

Bolt, you know who you are! Yes, oo, yup yup, ikaw. :))

I think Taylor looks really pretty, I just love her blond curly hair. D:
I want to be blond too! Too bad I have brown hair, I'd never think of dyeing it blond, I like my natural hair color. (pero kung dark orange or dark red baka pumayag ako! haha.)

So my Thursday post is so random. Yay for random posts!

I'm trying hard to get rid of my summer depression, Thanks to the people who tried and helped me get rid of it. You have helped a lot. To the one who received the most of my rants about being bored and all, thanks for listening.

I feel like a tumble weed will pass by anytime inside our house, but thats really impossible. As you have read, three people left our house yesterday for a one week vacation in the province. Now four more people left the house for a one week vacation. One of our house helpers and her three children who are one of the contributors of the noise around the house. This makes the house a bit lively though. With them gone too, there's only the radio thats chattering most of the day. Sometimes I'm noisy too, sometimes the other people left are noisy too. Still its a bit sad to see the house quiet and theres hardly anyone around. I'm used to it anyway, it happens every holy week.

To add to this post, I've started to read Manga again. I'm reading random Manga's right now. Theres an option on a site where I read that gives you a random Manga if you can't really decide on what to read.
Also after I have finished reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, I'm starting to crave for more regency romance novels. Good thing I discovered a novel on that genre on my shelve that I don't even know of. If I remember it right I took that book from our box of old books along with the 101 Dalmatians book because of the cover, then I never got to read it. Now I am.
The title is Lady of Quality, I'm on the fifth chapter now, and the story is getting better.

I've just realized that the house being quiet would be a good thing after all. I can read books and Manga in peace. I just hope the construction next door would have a vacation too.

Yes you have read the title right, my little one year and eight months cousin is going on a vacation. He will be staying with his parents in the province. Its for a week.
Its really a big thing because the first try that he was to have a vacation there failed, we ended up bringing him home again. So this time, for sure, he'll be comfortable in another place. The house would be quieter without him. He's really a happy kid, very talkative too. He always say so many words, and its a good thing of course. He can even sing Bahay Kubo a bit. Mommy sings with him.
Mom: Bahay
JB: bubu...
Its cuter if he says it, thats the only line i remember from his singing. Wait thats only a word. Some of the words in the song, he can only pronounce the last syllable. For example mani, he says 'ni.' :)

So you now have an idea of how he calls me. He calls me by the last syllable of my name, and thats 'na.'

Little cousin left after lunch today, and I hear he'll be back Saturday or Sunday. Even if I don't like him sometimes because of his playfulness and being really active I know I'll miss him. I can tell I really would.

One of our household helpers would be going with him and his mother to the province. That helper is the one in charged of feeding our two birds, taking care of the 3 dogs including of course our paralyzed mini dutch hound and also she has a pet hamster. She's gone, so all the animals will be left in my care. That makes me a bit occupied and thats a good thing, it can take away my boredom.

Also I'm starting to like Siberian Hamsters, those little rodents are cute. Still no hamster can replace my little guinea pig Lilith. Love you baby Lilith. :*

I feel better now.

Just a bit.

Being a pessimist,

I know its going to come back.

First time that I didn't get a clearance form.

There may be two reasons why,

One is that they might have misplaced it. Meaning they've misplaced almost the whole blocks clearance forms. There were only like ten or so forms on our sections envelope.

Second is they forgot to print it or just wanted to save ink and paper? (yeah right.)

I had to pay, well actually borrowed twenty pesos from a friend since the office didn't have a change for a hundred peso bill, for a form that the office said was suppose to be our clearance form but actually is just an official copy of our grades signed and sealed by the office. Wow. At least it really proved that I'm cleared.

Uh-huh.

I was happy that I got to see my friends. New looks but still the same old people I love. That happiness lasted only for a while, then I'm off to being down again. Yay?

Um, yeah, my summer depression is finally here. Uh-huh.

I've received suggestions on what to put in my portfolio for my thesis application. Thanks to Khan for the tips and to Nica for giving me an idea what to draw.

I'm still not done yet with the drawing I was doing yesterday. There's still plenty to color. I'll be aiming to finish it by tonight. Then I'll try doing Nica's suggestion. Then after I'll do Khan's tips.

I've noticed some of my classmates are starting to have blogs. (hmm... sino kaa yung mga iyon?) Welcome to the world of blogging. Sa totoo lang wala akong karapatan sabihin ito, dahil ako ay hindi laging nag lalagay ng bagong post. haha
Good luck to you guys, don't be like me who abandons her blog then posts when she feels like it.

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If you're wondering why my YM status message is 'Failure' well its a long story.

I'll just skip telling about it, it will only make people pity me and have some concerned comments that I already know about. Alam ko na ang sasabihin ninyo.

But I really appreciate your concern . :)

So aun nga,

'Yes naman, guard dog daw siya oh! :3'

(haha, ang labo biglang nag iba ang topic)

Since its summer, I'll be busy doing my portfolio for the thesis screening. My thesis would be book illustration. I'm planning on doing one art per day, or maybe two. Depends on my idea, if I get two or more ideas a day that would be nice. :D
I'm doing one right now, I'm halfway through the coloring. :D

Sana tuloy tuloy na itong pagka busy ko! Ayoko mabagot ngayong summer. :D

Kelangan kong maging masipag! Go! Go! Go!

Kung sino may suggestions dyan kung ano ang maganda iguhit para sa portfolio ko, sige lang, sabihin ninyo saakin. :D